Care to join an Org?

I had joined many organizations, be it partially or wholly. My ulterior motive in doing so had always been to seek camaraderie, but I actually had trouble with that. Yes, it was the same reason as to why I sought so many friends in so many different circles back then. It was like I was there but not being there. I was confident that I was talentless; I merely joined organizations because my past friends belonged to there, in hope of getting on well with them. In addition, I exerted myself in order that I could be acquainted with the juniors, seniors, and even my fellow friends. Alas, I was doomed to fail 🤷‍♂️.

It seemed I forced people to befriend me; i.e., I sought them in an unnatural way. Instead of introspecting about whatever was going on, I envied their growing closeness—not in the romantic way. Like, why couldn't I have the same as theirs?. I-I decided to distance myself from any of them (they did so too as far as I was concerned), hence the communication breakdowns. Unfortunately, I had the selfsame motive when joining that org though I was convinced that I would eventually learn it pretty well. Welp, I was baffled and coerced into becoming thoughtless. At the same time, I was not into cooperating with [redacted] and other members of [redacted] while also failing to be a part of the [redacted] gang and [redacted] at that time. I could have asked any of [redacted] before the finale... Well, no time for regret. I am content with the status quo: that I am no longer part of all of [redacted].

Fin.